On having a hard pregnancy....

So, yesterday I went to my typical baby doc apt, being 27 weeks along. Steve and Andy joined me as well..


For some reason, yesterday's apt. was not pleasant and it had everything to do with diabetes. I thought I was doing so good with my diabetes, but my doctor kind of laid into me. You have to be in so much better control than even not being pregnant. The catch is--it is only about a million times harder to be in control when you are pregnant cause your body is constantly changing and needing different insulin needs (believe me, I don't even think people realize, unless they are diabetic, just how much hormones and baby growth changes the mom---you can actually see it with you glucose numbers)....

They want me to be in better control than I ever had in my 24 years of having diabetes. It is all overwhelming...I am so complaining and I feel awful about it. I will blame it on the hormones ( good excuse right).

Andy got restless halfway through the apt, so Steve took her out. That left the doc and me alone. I love my doc, he is so concerned about everything and on the ball. AMAZING! I was, however, holding back my tears and the second we walked out of the appointment I just started sobbing and kept sobbing throughout the day.

Today is better, but I am still on the verge of losing it. I am just so overwhelmed and feeling like a failure. We are now going to the doctor WEEKLY and the Endo, dietitian and diabetic clinic weekly. It is all worth it, and I am so grateful my doctor cares so much ( he is so dif than the doc that delivered Andy, he could have cared less)....I just need alot of prayers right now. I am so tired from crying, but I can't hold it in. Maybe I will run out of tears eventually.

I am one of the lucky ones who even has the chance to be pregnant....I am eternally grateful for that. I need to get a better outlook somehow. Somehow, somehow.....

The dream of being a doctor.......

I am so proud of my husband! He has worked so hard, learned so much and put so much into his dream of becoming a doctor! It truly has been an emotional process for us, with lots of learning curves. We learned the hard way some mistakes we made in the process (like applying earlier than later makes the biggest difference).

Steve got his acceptance into the MD program at Tulane medical school in New Orleans! We are thrilled! When he interviewed there, he loved everything about the school, the place and his interview. Had an overall good feeling.

At this point we really don't think we can afford to fly and interview anywhere else...so we are just waiting to hear back from the U. Steve interviewed in Oct. and they told him he would not hear back until Mar ( so sad I know). The U is a very long shot, but still our first choice.

It would not be that horrible to not get into the U since we are in medical school. It is just wonderful to know we are on the path to the dream of being a doctor! Whether it is in New Orleans or Utah, we are so happy and ready for this new adventure in our lives to begin.

I thought the cartoon was hilarious....the beginning of fun med school moments.....

Crazy day, especially for Steve.....

Another one for the books today---CRAZINESS!!

Steve drives to work and about halfway there does a realization he took the car I DRIVE (which has the car seat in it) to work....So he calls me, all bummed and says "I AM ON MY WAY HOME." I bust up and ask if he is having a pregnancy moment.

He is already running late as he switches cars and heads out again. These time he is more than halfway there when he realizes the car is breaking down and barely makes it into a gas station. He calls me AGAIN and says "c0me and take me to work."

I freak out wondering what we are going to do with our car and realize this is the WORST TIME (of course) for car problems. We have been having serious money problems and even said we aren't doing Christmas this year cause we have no money.

ANYWHO--by the time I get to his car and we figure out a tow and such...Steve is over 2 hours late to work ( not a fun way to start a very long work day). We then realize he won't have a ride home, so I have to wake ANDY so we can pick up dad at midnight! I am a little frustrated to say the least.

We don't know if our 20 year old car is fixable, and if it is are pretty sure we can't afford it. I am almost 7 months along and at time when I really could be using a car. This just really really stinks...

Not yet...continued......

So, it is hard to capture on tape just how she is since you always act different on tape, but this is a good little glimpse. Hard not to laugh, but a typical response to most questions...Except she usually says "NOT YET" a whole lot more...

Not yet.....

I have no clue where kids learn phrases. As a mother, I have had to stop and think before I open my mouth cause I know whatever I say could ( and probably WILL) eventually be repeated.

If it is repeated, I usually know the source and can laugh or cry at it. So, when my daughter's new favorite phrase has suddenly become "NOT YET" and I have NO CLUE where she picked it up...I am at a loss for words.

It is a better thing to hear than straight out NO. When I say, "K, time for dinner." and she responds "NOT YET.." It does make me laugh a little...

But after an entire day of , "time for nap " "NOT YET", or "let's get in the car..." "NOT YET"....it gets really really really old really fast. People who hear it for the first time just crack up and say it is so cute ( including my husband--whom I think is the culprit of the phrase---hmmm....) Well, for now I will enjoy a silent moment of no one saying "NOT YET"