So, yesterday I went to my typical baby doc apt, being 27 weeks along. Steve and Andy joined me as well..
For some reason, yesterday's apt. was not pleasant and it had everything to do with diabetes. I thought I was doing so good with my diabetes, but my doctor kind of laid into me. You have to be in so much better control than even not being pregnant. The catch is--it is only about a million times harder to be in control when you are pregnant cause your body is constantly changing and needing different insulin needs (believe me, I don't even think people realize, unless they are diabetic, just how much hormones and baby growth changes the mom---you can actually see it with you glucose numbers)....
They want me to be in better control than I ever had in my 24 years of having diabetes. It is all overwhelming...I am so complaining and I feel awful about it. I will blame it on the hormones ( good excuse right).
Andy got restless halfway through the apt, so Steve took her out. That left the doc and me alone. I love my doc, he is so concerned about everything and on the ball. AMAZING! I was, however, holding back my tears and the second we walked out of the appointment I just started sobbing and kept sobbing throughout the day.
Today is better, but I am still on the verge of losing it. I am just so overwhelmed and feeling like a failure. We are now going to the doctor WEEKLY and the Endo, dietitian and diabetic clinic weekly. It is all worth it, and I am so grateful my doctor cares so much ( he is so dif than the doc that delivered Andy, he could have cared less)....I just need alot of prayers right now. I am so tired from crying, but I can't hold it in. Maybe I will run out of tears eventually.
I am one of the lucky ones who even has the chance to be pregnant....I am eternally grateful for that. I need to get a better outlook somehow. Somehow, somehow.....
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6 comments:
Being pregnant really messes with a person's head too. I feel like I'm constantly annoyed with Pastor when he hasn't done anything.
Seriously, if you need some time to chill, bring Andy over here. I'd be happy to watch her.
I'm so sorry it's so hard. It's hard enough not having to deal with diabetes. But...the end is in sight. I think you're only one week behind me so welcome to the third trimester sweetie!!!
Jamie, I am so sorry! Since I am in the same boat as you as far as pregnancy goes, I couldn't even imagine having to worry about diabetes while being pregnant, being pregnant is hard enough. I had a little glimpse into your world this week as my body has been changing, I have to eat protein every few hours and my dr. got mad at me for snacking too much on carbs and sugars and I literally get light headed and shakey if I don't eat exactly how and when I should. Obviously, not as extreme as your case, but I got a glimpse and I don't know how you do it! And just think of the little girl you will have when all is said and done. I wish we could be done now, but just a few more months! :) I think pregnant women have a free pass to complain all they want! :) I wish I was closer so I could help ya out! :)
HEY COOKS.. it was soo awesome to see you last night i just love your cute family and am excited to see the new addition coming soon!!your so fun and loving.. glad you made it home safe!1 see you tonight
love you guys so glad to see you last night.. your so fun and loving and adorable family.!!
It's nothing in comparison to what you are going through, but when my back hurts so bad that I just cry from the pain, I just keep thinking that this is what I wanted more than anything and I'm going to make it and have a beautiful baby at the end that will make me forget how hard everything was. It's so worth it, no matter how hard the journey. Just look at Andy, and you'll remember just how worth it it is.
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