Lately, for some reason I have been obsessed with this concept of being liked and accepted. I don't know why it has become more eminent ( I pretend it has to do with the blogging world and feeling like what you say doesn't really matter. Maybe I have been too involved with Glinda the good witch and her need to be "Popular"?).
I do not understand my little obsession with needing to be validated. After all, I have everything I ever wanted in my life and dreamed of, lived for. I feel so out of a loop. Do you ever feel like you are the last to hear what is going on? And when that happens, why is that? Is it because people just don't care if you know?
Sometimes I think it is because I am too real for everyone...I don't paint everything perfect. I just tell it like it is...and let me tell you, sometimes life is hard, and it is ok to say that.
As I go off on my rant, I realize again, I might be saying too much ( and yet feel like I hold so much back). I have taken a look at myself , pondered on the concept, and concluded that in some way we all ( whether we like to admit it or not) have a need to be validated. We need to feel like we are of worth, that our opinion matters, that our voice can be heard.
While coming to this realization that I am not alone in my desire to be admired, loved and liked...I rediscovered I really already have that. If I am not happy with me, then it really doesn't matter what others think. Maybe it is an inner thing.
In the end, I understand at the end of the day ( as my husband has taken to telling me lately) that I am HIS favorite. He reminds me that my baby needs me, and looks up to me. He tells me "aren't I all you need?" It is true.
I don't need to be the first person called, or the favorite on everyone's list...The funniest, the cutest, the smartest, the richest...I know my Heavenly Father loves me and sees in me what others can't, including myself. He sees my potential to be the wife and mother I desire and how my talents can help them out. I am so grateful for my GOD and for his faith and love for me.
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8 comments:
I just want to say, this has got to be my favorite blog ever.
Whoa, me too! Seriously like, it's totally my favorite too, dude! I think it's the most totally gnarly blog any of us California surfer dudes have ever experienced -- its like catching a totally awesome wave and coasting all the way to the beach, man!
I'm so glad there are people in the world who understand how I feel -- you're an inspiration Jamie Probert Cook. Not only are you an inspiration to me, an anonymous reader, but you've inspired these other two people also. If that isn't fulling, then I don't know what is. Lets just face it -- you're amazing!
I like Jamie
Hey Jaime, your families "anonymous"comments are hilarious! This is a great post however because you are real and I love people who don't hold back and share their own thoughts. It's refreshing actually! I have to admit I really love Galinda and Popular is my favorite song from Wicked! I think it's hard sometimes to connect with people when you are a mother of young children. The demands on our time can be overwhelming, so knowing the latest news or what not hits the back burner. I find conversations with the gals at playgroups are so fragmented with interruptions from the kids and so many people trying to talk about different subjects, who can really grasp what another is saying all the time! I know I've only met you a couple of times, but I totally enjoy your bubbly personality and zest for life! And I also really enjoy reading your blog! So put aside those silly insecurities and keep on keeping on!
I can always count on my hubby to make me feel like I am number one---love you babe!
Kelli
It is different with little chillens around. They are your world, so anything outside of that is not real...you know?
I am so funny with my insecurities--Kelli, you have always been real to me and I appreciate it. I have loved our little "talks"..one in particular had a big impact on my life and i will forever be grateful.
Jamie, must I remind you how much I love you??? Who else would hide her engagement ring to make sure you were the first to know?
Anyway, I love this post. It is so true. It all comes down to a loving Father who has put us here to have these kinds of thoughts/experiences to grow.
I'm grateful for your friendship. I hope that we never lose touch.
Go David Archuleta! ;)
Jamie - I love this post. I love people who are completely honest! I can totally sympathize with many of your feelings - maybe it's an oldest child thing? ;o)
I love your blog, I look forward to your posts because you're so real and I can relate to you.
Keep postin'!
Loves
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